Sometimes I just dont know

Sometimes everything that I thought at one point time made sense, suddenly doesnt. My fiancee and I have been fighting quite a bit lately and its driving me insane. We're moving to a bigger place on Friday. Im really excited. Its a nice 3 bedroom 1 1/2 bath. Nice garage for Ron to build his motorcycles in and all the bedrooms are huge. We're fairly excited. I just want the fighting to end. I think he's just wore out, he works about 14 hours a day everyday and Im not working at the moment so things get kinda tight.

So In my previous blog I talked about Angels walking among us, in this one I want to talk about how God works in mysterious ways. When I worked at the gas station I met this  man and his wife and I talked to them all the time, you see this man wasnt just an ordinary man, he was a pastor. Him and his wife always wanted me to go to church and listen to his sermon but since I always worked sunday mornings I never really could. Well about 4-5 months later I met my now fiancee Ron and quit my job at the gas station shortly after. Ron worked with his dad but had gotten laid off so he called his friend up and his friend gave him a job, so one sunday Ron went to the store to pick up so things for supper that night and ran into the friend he began working for and he gave us an invitation to a cook out at there place that afternoon. I had my hesitation with going, I dont like being around alot of people I dont know and eating in front of them none the less. Some how Ron talked me into it and we went. I walked into the house and introduced myself to everyone standing there then a few minutes later an old friend of mine that I hadnt seen since I was in high school came out from the living room. Her and I chatted for a while and caught up on quite a few different things. As we all sat there talking I heard someone pull into the driveway and heard everyone say "Pastor Daves here" I thought to myself for a second "I know a pastor dave, but it cant be the same pastor dave i know" As I turned around I saw him, it was indeed the same pastor dave I knew. Ron a man I never thought I could get into a church is now attending church with me, his friends and our inspiration for going, Pastor Dave.

I find it so amazing how things like this can work out. My friend that I ran into that day also attends that church and her and I talk every chance we get now. And upon talking to her I also realized that she knew some other people that I knew that I had met and became friends with when I worked at the gas station. What a small world.

"And they say that angels walk among us"

Its amazing the things we all go thru in life. The heartaches, the pains, the loves, the fun, the hurt, the fears, the strengths, the courage, the houses, the jobs,the friends, the family, the drama, the excitement, and most importantly the faith. I feel that everything I've ever went thru, every heartache, every love, every bit of drama, every ounce of pain. EVERYTHING, was for a reason. All the events of my past, all the people of my past. All for a reason. Here I am now, about to marry the most amazing man ever, and I just cant believe it. And I know that if one thing would have went differntly until the point that i met him, that I just may not have. So if I had to go back and redo anything, I would change a thing because in the off change that I wouldnt have him, it just wouldn't be worth it.

I've never felt this type of excitement, never knew this type of love. And its then that I realize that when I was feeling down, when I was feeling lost, when I was feeling broken and alone, God was preparing me for the best, healing my wounds, and stirring into the right direction. And knowing that, you just have to believe in him.

God has given me so much. Ron and I have been through so much together.  I can't imagine their being anyone else.  Now lets just pray that we'll be getting a new addition to our family soon =)

We already have names picked out. Just waiting for the day to come... God has blessed us already with so much, all we want is this one last one, a very special one. And if not thats ok, Im still a step-mommy and thats great too.

This is the most recent pic of me, I took it at Kristens house Saturday night, in fact thats her bathroom sink in the background. Yup, Im cool. I was half gone when I took this picture lol

After a long absence I find myself frequenting again. As I was explaining in my last entry a lot has changed, and I think Im a part of that. I see so many differences in myself just by reading some of my old blogs. It's hard to believe that I was once that person. I think that I've gained many strenghts since last year. Which reminds me, some friends and I were talking about the hardships in our lives and how we could all do without them, but I don't really think that we could. In my opinion it's part of the people we become. If we didn't have our hardships, we'd have nothing to gain our strengths from and wouldn't have had anything to learn form. "Pain is the best teacher"  And that's very true, but only if you let it be. If you dwell on them and learn no leason at all then it doesn't do anything at all.

Anyways, tonight was pretty nice. I finally got to see Eric, I hadn't gotten to see him in so long and it was so great just to lay in his arms and watch the fireworks. We were right under them so it was so beautiful. The only downfall is that little chunks of the fireworks were hitting us...well Amber and I, Eric didn't really get hit at all. Psssh lucky!! haha. Anyways, So much happened last night I dont even know if its worth talking about, but lets just say that it wasnt too good of a day.

Im FIne without you...runaway this time without you.